Gaining Confidence

Practice tonight went quite well. I’m starting to feel a bit more confident about the shiai portion of my test, which is good, since the shiai portion is always the portion that I worry about the most. The written portion I’m fairly confident with; as long as I’m diligent in studying, answering the questions, even in Japanese isn’t very difficult.

Kata as well I’m usually not too worried about. When I study kata, I study it very seriously. Koyama-san is a great kata teacher. He explains each form point by point in terms of what is considered a high level focus or a lower level focus. He also explains things patiently and humorously, which makes learning under him very enjoyable. Further, when practicing with Koyama-san, he is very serious, and completely in the moment, which makes it easy to fallow suit. Subsequently, being graded in kata doesn’t bother me very much.

The shiai portion of the test, however, causes me a lot of stress. I’m not a person of incredible stamina for one, so matches that last a long time can be difficult. Further, my performance in any shiai type match can never be accurately predicted. What feels great one day can, the next day be in complete shambles. I can never tell, one day to the next whether my kendo is going to be great or mediocre. As well, who exactly I’m fighting is a big portion of how I will perform as well.

The nice thing about grading in Japan, however, is that the pool of eligible participants is so high that you are almost certain to be matched with some one of the same gender and similar age, as well as same rank.

I had a bit of a running commentary going during my last keiko today. People were watching and commenting among themselves, which is great, because they can tell me if I’m doing something wrong later. They didn’t seem to have any criticisms though.

I’ll keep studying for the written portion of the test tonight. Cramming all this into my brain makes my eyes hurt, but it’s great for use outside of kendo too. I’m learning a lot more kanji and phrases which I’ll be able to use in day to day life.