Sabotage

Argh! You know how sometimes it feels like, despite your best efforts, the world just wants to pull you down? Three days until my ni-dan test and I wake up with pink eye. I can't see anything but blurs out of my left eye right now. I’ve already had to deal with a cold and another infection interfering with my exam training and now this? I’ve never had pink eye before, so I have no idea how long this will last, or if I’ll still have it for the test.

Today was my last practice before the exam. Fortunately, the blurriness cleared up, but the irritation and inflammation was still there. At least I could see, which is a blessing I'll gladly take.

Unfortunately, the ever increasing heat is making my limbs feel heavier and heavier. On top of pre-test stress and an irritated, swollen eye, not being able to perform anywhere near my top form over the past few weeks has been incredibly depressing. 

Despite my best efforts today, I just could not seem to be able to get my arms up high enough to actually strike the top of my opponent's men. I hit the grill more times than not. I should have just tried tsuki or kote waza all practice for how successful my men-uchi was. My arms felt lazy and my feet felt like they were dragging. How I long for some nice, mild Vancouver weather right about now!

I hope I’m able to shake this despondent feeling away before the test. The last thing I need is a bunch of negative emotions weighing me down further when the only thing I really need to concentrate on is “I can and will do this to the best of my ability”. Anything else is irrelevant.